Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings
by xAndromedaBlackx
Summary: The Happy Thestrals, the wizarding world's newest band, is happy to release their first album: Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings! Includes the smash hit "If I Were A Dark Lord With Rainbow Colored Hair". Please read…er… listen and review!
1. Playlist and Reviews on the Album

**Chapter edited on the sixth of October, in the year two thousand and eight, ay deeeeee.  
**

**Summary: The Happy Thestrals, the wizarding world's newest band, has just released their first album: Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings! Including the smash hit "If I Were a Dark Lord With Rainbow-Colored Hair" and others. Please read… er… _listen_ and review!**

* * *

_Invisib__le Carriages and Horseless Wings_

_By: The Happy Thestrals_

_Track One: Silencio_

_Track Two: Maybe or Maybe Not_

_Track Three: She Don't Care_

_Track Four: If I Were a Dark Lord With Rainbow-Colored Hair_

_Track Five: Cauldrons and Wands_

_Track Six: Dementors Are Demented_

_Track Seven: Did I Tell You About the Phoenix_

_Track Eight: Fall Out Wizards_

_Track Nine: Because of That _

_Track Ten: Did You Know That I Hate Spiders?_

_Track Eleven: Please Shut Up_

_Track Twelve: Do the World a Favor and Stop Talking_

_Track Thirteen: Butterbeer Rocks_

_Track Fourteen: Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings_

_Bonus Track Fifteen: The Ministry of Morons—I Mean Magic_

* * *

"Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings" is one of the most popular magic music albums sold around the world! There are plenty of copies everywhere! Here is what some reviewers had to say about the songs:

"The title was what prompted me to buy it. I mean, 'Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings?' Sounds like the Hogwarts carriages, only they're not pulled by anything, unless whatever it's pulled by are invisible. Great songs."

–Jennifer Vane, 16, Hogwarts student

"The best song was definitely, without a doubt, 'If I Were a Dark Lord With Rainbow-Colored Hair.' I wonder what You-Know-Who would say if he heard that song."

–Arianna Cambridge, 14, Hogwarts student

"This has been bringing plenty of business into my shop. A lot of people seem to like the songs. I haven't listened to them yet, but I'm sure they're great!"

–Katie Mann, Owner of "Magical Music" store

"The song 'The Ministry of Morons—I Mean Magic' is very degrading to our Ministry of Magic, and we hope the Happy Thestrals will choose better themes for their songs from now on."

–Reese White, Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic

"Weird… Bethie, you're _really _weird."

–Authoress -xAndromedaBlackx-'s friend Janet Wilson

"Wow… you are too obsessed with Harry Potter!"

–Authoress -xAndromedaBlackx-'s friend Megan

"My God. Were you on crack when you wrote this? Wait… don't answer that."

–Authoress -xAndromedaBlackx-'s friend Rebecca

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**Read and review?  
**


	2. Teen Witch Interview and Track One

**Chapter edited on October 6th, 2008. AD. Not BC. A. D.  
**

* * *

Everyone's heard of the Happy Thestrals, haven't you all? They're the wizarding world's newest band, and they play the best rock songs in the magic world!

There are four members of the Happy Thestrals. There's Felix, the drummer, Tristan, the keyboard player, John, the guitarist and backup singer, and Chris, the main singer. And _Teen Witch _has scored an interview with them!

Zara Catrine reporting.

Zara: So, you guys, are you all excited for your summer tour? Word has it even Celestina Warbeck, one of the most popular singing sorceresses, has bought tickets!

Felix: Of course we're excited. I mean, it's our career.

(Zara would like to note that Chris, Tristan, and John agree with Felix.)

Zara: That's great to know! Nothing makes people more excited than a person who actually likes his or her occupation. So what, in your opinion, is your best song?

Felix: "If I Were a Dark Lord With Rainbow-Colored Hair." It seems to be the most popular song out of all of them so far.

Chris: Yeah. In these dark times, with You-Know-Who alive again and everything, people need a bit of a laugh.

John: True. I prefer "The Ministry of Morons," though. They really are morons—I mean, they ignored You-Know-Who's return for a year.

Tristan: Yeah, they are. I like "Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings." See, we're the Happy Thestrals, and the Hogwarts carriages are pulled by thestrals.

Zara: That's true. But how did you know?

Tristan: A Muggle murdered my aunt, who's also a Muggle, using a gun when I was staying at her house, when I was seven. My dad arrived before the Muggle could kill me and he Stunned the guy.

Zara: Wow… I'm sorry. And I don't mean to offend you or anything, but you don't seem too upset.

Tristan: I've learned to live with it.

Zara: That's good to know. So what inspired "If I Were a Dark Lord With Rainbow-Colored Hair?" And what do you think You-Know-Who would say if he heard that song?

John: Well, like Chris said, we thought that people needed a bit of laugh in these dark times. I know making a mockery of You-Know-Who would probably anger him if he heard it, but it's not like he knows where we live anyway. And seeing him in a humorous light may make the situation a bit better.

Chris: Yeah. We went to school together—we were all Gryffindors, along with this kid Charlie Weasley, and there was this Metamorphmagus in Ravenclaw who always morphed her hair into a rainbow of colors—pink, violet, green… really bright colors. So that was kind of where we got the inspiration.

Zara: Wow… that's cool! There's a Metamorphmagus working as an Auror at the Ministry now. Her name's… well, I'll just say that her initials are N.T. Is that her?

Felix: Yeah, I think so.

Zara: Cool. And John, you just said that You-Know-Who doesn't know where you live… but you know he can track anyone down, right?

John: Yeah. It's not like I'm worried, though. Got to make the best of your life before it's over, don't you think?

Zara: That's one way of putting it. You're a bit… pessimistic. No offense meant.

Felix: Nah, he's just realistic. And optimistic… he doesn't even seem scared at the prospect of dying.

Zara: Are the rest of you?

Tristan: Er… kinda. But we try to think about more cheerful things.

Zara: Good point. Let's see… do any of you have love lives that you'd like to share with our teenage witch readers?

Tristan: … Nah.

Chris: Neither do I. But I'd like a girlfriend.

Felix: I don't have one. Nor do I want one… I'm really busy right, writing new songs and touring and the like.

John: Ignore him. Felix is like that… kinda a workaholic.

Felix: I am not!

Zara: OK, OK, subject change. Since none of you seem to have girlfriends—

John: I do. I just didn't answer the question yet.

Zara: Oh, you do! Who is she? I'm sure everyone would love to know.

John: … Nah. I'd like to keep my personal life a secret.

Zara: (sighing) Well, all right. If you're sure.

John: I'm sure.

Zara: OK then. So, what would the rest of you—Felix, Chris, and Tristan—look for in a girlfriend?

Felix: Nice. Kind. Caring. Not too needy.

Chris: Same, I suppose. But Felix, "nice" and "kind" mean the same thing.

Felix: Exactly. Same thing.

Chris: Whatever.

Tristan: Cool. Good-looking. And doesn't mind about my career. And isn't using me just because I'm famous.

Zara: Those are all good qualities of a girlfriend. Well, I'm afraid our time for interviewing is up, but it was a pleasant interview nonetheless. I enjoyed speaking with all of you.

Felix: Was that rehearsed?

John: Felix, shut up. You're being rude.

Felix: Oh. Right. Sorry.

* * *

_Track One of The Happy Thestrals' New Album "Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings": Silencio_

_Do I need to say good-bye_

_Do I need to start talking_

_Do I need to say anything_

_No, no, I don't think so_

_I don't want to say a word_

_I want to keep quiet_

_I want to be silenced_

_Like the Silencing Charm_

_As in…_

_Silencio_

_Silencio_

_Please keep quiet_

_Don't say a word_

_Silencio_

_Silencio_

_I don't want to hear anything_

_Repeat Chorus 2x_

_Do I really need to start talking_

_No, no, no, I don't think so_

_No way_

_Words wouldn't be enough to express this feeling_

_So please just leave me alone_

_Let me rest by myself_

_Without saying a word_

_Like with a Silencing Charm on_

_Like…_

_Silencio_

_Repeat Chorus 2x_

_Silencio_

_No, no, I don't think so_

_Silencio_

_Repeat Chorus 2x_

* * *

**Sorry if that song was sucky. I'm not a good songwriter. **

**Please review! **

**-xAndromedaBlackx-**


	3. Tracks Two, Three, and Four

**I've thought up a really catchy tune to "Silencio," and it won't come out of my head! But I love singing it… too bad I can't show you all XD  
**

**Please review!  
**

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_Track Two of the Happy Thestrals' Album "Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings": Maybe or Maybe Not_

_The first time I saw you_

_It was a very, very rainy day in Diagon Alley_

_I think you were a Muggleborn_

_You just looked at me like you'd never seen_

_(Never seen)_

_Anything so strange…_

_You'd never heard_

_(Never heard)_

_of Galleons, butterbeer, Quidditch, anything_

_(Anything…)_

_So I taught you_

_(Taught you)_

_And I asked you one question_

_(one question)_

_A question that you refused to directly answer…_

_No, no_

_Maybe or maybe not_

_No, you don't care_

_(Don't care)_

_No matter what I said or did…_

_Can't you just…_

_Give me…_

_An answer…_

_No, no_

_Maybe or maybe not_

_I don't really think_

_So what do you want me to say or do_

_(Say or do)_

_To make it really happen… _

_Do you…_

_Want an…_

_Answer…_

_(Answer)_

_Perhaps not_

_(Perhaps not)_

_But you really need to learn about…_

_Everything…_

_Quidditch games… You-Know-Who… the Ministry…_

_Like I said, everything…_

_Repeat Chorus _

_Everything is so foreign to you_

_I never thought I could meet someone like you_

_But perhaps that's just because none of my friends are Muggleborns_

_But you're more than just another Muggleborn_

_(Muggleborn)_

_Muggleborn…_

_You're special…_

_Repeat Chorus_

_Oh so special…_

_Please just answer my question_

_Just say something…_

_Besides…_

_Repeat Chorus_

_Maybe or maybe not_

_Maybe or maybe not_

_Maybe or maybe not…_

_Repeat Chorus 2x_

_Maybe or maybe not_

* * *

_Track Three of the Happy Thestrals' Album "Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings": She Don't Care_

_Ohhh…_

_I am…_

_(Am)_

_(Eight measure rest—background music play)_

_Maybe it's because you're different_

_Maybe it's because you're headstrong_

_Maybe it's because you oppose the Dark Lord_

_But whatever… I don't care if I'm wrong_

_You are really one special girl_

_You really ought to see that_

_But I don't really think your mother cares_

_Maybe… I'm wrong_

_She don't care_

_She does whatever she likes_

_Death Eaters, bad dates, bad hair days_

_She takes them all like summer nights_

_Treats them like song_

_(Like song)_

_Like it don't really matter_

_Life is just throwing you curveballs_

_You take them all_

_(Take them all)_

_With a smile plastered on your face_

_You take them all like you're not wrong_

_Wrong…_

_Because life is just that way_

_Nothing ever stays the same_

_Whatever you do something bad always happens_

_Be prepared to be wrong_

_Because_

_Repeat Chorus _

_Wrong, wrong, wrong…_

_She don't care_

_She don't care_

_Life is just throwing you curveballs_

_Take them all_

_(Take them all)_

_Treat them like they're wrong_

_(Wrong)_

_Treat them like they're wrong_

_(Wrong)_

_Repeat Chorus 2x_

_Treat them like they're wrong…_

* * *

_Track Four of the Happy Thestrals' Album "Invisible Carriages and Horseless Wings": If I Were a Dark Lord With Rainbow-Colored Hair_

_You-Know-Who is terrorizing everybody_

_(Everybody)_

_Dark Marks, Death Eaters, killing sprees_

_Everybody is terrified out of their wits_

_But have you ever met You-Know-Who_

_Do you know what he looks like_

_Bald, ugly, red-eyed_

_(Red-eyed)_

_No fashion statements at all_

_Well, we're gonna make one _

_Just for fun _

_You-Know-Who really needs one_

_Oh, oh…_

_If I were a Dark Lord with rainbow-colored hair_

_I'd go around terrorizing people_

_Givin' 'em quite a scare_

_Whenever I walk by people_

_Will cower in fear_

_Because I am the Dark Lord with rainbow-colored hair_

_Rainbow-colored hair_

_You know,_

_If You-Know-Who_

_Ever got a wig_

_It better not be rainbow-colored_

_(Colored)_

_Cuz now_

_That would just be plagiarizing _

_(Plagiarizing)_

_Plagiarizing us_

_Because, after all…_

_Repeat chorus_

_Rainbow-colored hair_

_If You-Know-Who_

_Really did buy a wig_

_It could be any color_

_Green, blue, purple, pink, yellow, orange, anything you want_

_Even red like Ronald McDonald_

_(Speaking: No that's just a Muggle thing)_

_But not rainbow-colored_

_Repeat Chorus _

_Rainbow-colored hair_

_Repeat Chorus 2x_

_Rainbow-colored hair_

* * *

**So… how was it? I made up some tunes/melodies to go along with the songs, but it's not like I can put it in this story… (sigh) Well, please review! I liked writing the songs XD Sorry if they sucked. I'm not a professional or anything ;P**

**-xAndromedaBlackx-**

**(Note: This chapter has been edited on the sixth of October, 2008.)**


	4. Concerts, Audio Engineers, and Fangirls

**So, does anyone even remember me? Haha. Yeah. I haven't updated some of my stories in over a year / I've been lazy D:**

**Anyways, on with the chapter, for those few people who actually read this story XD I haven't proofread it yet, so if you spot any mistakes, tell me.**

* * *

The Happy Thestrals were…well…happy. And why shouldn't they be? They were about to perform in their first concert ever.

Everything was going well. All the tickets had sold out, and Tristan had won the bet on how many girls who hadn't gotten in were going to create fake tickets, in the hopes of catching a live glimpse of the hottest new wizarding band. (Just for the record, Tristan had bet over 500 girls, while Felix, Chris, and John had all opted under 350.)

The magical speakers were set, the Aurors were in position, and already hordes of screaming fans could be heard from all the way backstage. Felix, always the most technical of the group, was confirming last-minute details with the stage manager while John prevented Chris from messing around with the audio engineering and all that stuff.

"Holy mother of Merlin," Tristan breathed, his eyes going wide. He was taking a peek at the outside of the concert hall, where all the eager witches and some wizards waited to be let in. There had to be thousands of people, and the lines kept stretching farther and farther back.

"You got that right," John agreed absently, fiddling around with his guitar, fine-tuning it. He had long since given up on Chris, who was flicking switches like a five-year-old on Christmas Day. The headphones were on his ears.

"Vhat ze 'ell are you doeeng?!" the audio engineer roared, running out from behind some random curtain to save his precious equipment. He was a thin blond man with a strange accent that seemed to be a mixture of French and Bulgarian. "Git ah-wayy from mah equeepment!"

Tristan snickered as Chris snatched the headphones guiltily off his ears and handed them to the irate man. He reminded Tristan of the time the Weasley twins, only a few years younger than them, were caught in the middle of pulling a prank by none other than Professor Dumbledore, the esteemed headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Ve cannot ahfford thees; you ahre goeeng live een ten meeneets! Eef—"

"Ten minutes?" Felix asked weakly, looking up from his drum set as well. He then employed a choice swear word.

John muttered the same said choice swear word under his breath and hurried out of the room.

Well, you would too if you were about to go live in concert for the first time in your life. This was the point of the Happy Thestrals' career—this concert would make it or break it.

* * *

Layla Whortings breathlessly watched as the ticket taker glanced at her ticket. She had gotten the ticket as a 16th birthday present from her best friend, Rachel Blenning, who was more than 

rich enough to pay for both that and a ticket for herself. The two girls were in love with the Happy Thestrals—particularly John, at least in Layla's opinion, and Tristan in Rachel's.

Too bad John had a girlfriend, like he said in that Teen Witch interview with Zara Catrine.

The ticket taker flicked his wand at both girls' tickets, which lit up with a soft gold glow for half a second before reverting back to normal. The ticket taker waved his hand at the girls. "In."

"Oh Merlin, I can't wait to see Tristan," Rachel squealed, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. "He is such a cutie."

"John is better," Layla argued back, though her heart wasn't in it. She frantically scanned the large auditorium, where hundreds, maybe even thousands of people had already gathered. Few people were seated—most wanted to be in the small area in front of the stage, closest to the band, and many witches were literally fighting for dominace of the mosh pit.

"This is intense," a low voice muttered behind her. Layla whirled around to see a thin wizard hanging out by one of the shadier exits in the auditorium. His face was in shadow.

"I agree," she shouted, to be heard over the ruckus of the crowd. "I feel bad for the poor Happy Thestrals. They're gonna get mobbed."

"I thank you for your concern," the young man said, chuckling. Layla froze and blood rushed to her face when she realized that she recognized the voice. How many times had she listened to it crooning out the lyrics to her favorite song, _Silencio_?

"_John?!" _she choked out, staring into the shadows.

But he was gone.

* * *

They were saving If I Were A Dark Lord With Rainbow-Colored Hair for last, of course. Nothing like a mood-lifter to end the concert. But Felix could tell the concert would be a huge success, from the moment he walked out onto the stage amidst screaming and applause to when he began drumming the beats he knew by heart for _She Don't Care_.

He didn't even have to look at his percussion as he watched John strum his guitar and hum into the magically-enhanced microphone. He could see all the adoring fans cheering and singing along, and he involuntarily broke into a wide grin, shattering the image he was going for—cool and aloof.

But that didn't matter, because he was having the time of his life.



He should have known it was too good to last.

After playing what seemed like thousands of songs, the concert was finally over, and the Happy Thestrals received a standing ovation (most of the audience was already standing, but whatever), the Aurors, who were still paranoid after finding out Voldemort really was back after all, began ushering everyone out. Most people stopped to buy a T-shirt or an autographed animated poster, though.

It had been a huge success, and it got Felix's hopes up. Their career was booming, and they would do well.

Yup, too good to last.

The moment Felix walked out into the street, three hours after the concert was over, he was mobbed by rabid fangirls.

* * *

**The end, for now :P **

**You know what to do, REVIEW! Ha, that rhymes xD**

**Once again, sorry for my absence! I will try to update some other stories now, but I have to do this on my friend's computer; my Word keeps shutting down on me on my own computer -.-**

**(Note: chapter edited October 6th, 2008)**


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